Just had a great weekend away with friends - celebrating a 40th birthday. A real treat - no kids - quirky hotel near Hull - lots of laughs.

They are my very good friends, so you talk about anything and no one is on their best behaviour. So... you start to notice their peculiarities - especially amongst the men. It became obvious that two of my male friends are permanently competing. It really is rather funny. Little comments, postures - even charades had a serious element.

I started to laugh and point it out - some other guys in the gang said 'yeah yeah its the alpha male thing - watch them its very funny.'

But here's the rub - the things they are competing on are traditionally the feminine domain. Singing, acting, best interior design of houses, clothes, hair, cooking skills, products used on skin - that is why it is so funny.

Basically I decided that they have worked out it is not cool to compete on the basis of the traditional stuff - size of car, size of feet, size of almost everything! - including houses, wallets, gardens, second homes and of course unmentionables.... That is too caveman and being too caveman means that they will automatically lose the competition for most modern man - so they casually drop the name of their skin care regime - eeekkk. Very funny.

Later - back home in our local pub - I confronted one of the 'alpha male' mates and asked him about this competitive streak. He said that was why he liked the other bloke so much - the constant jibing.

When I asked him if he always needed someone to put himself up against - he said no. Not just someone but occasionaly something.

His next words left me dumbfounded ( and wondering if its a gender thing - or if I and my female friends have been missing out on this constant need to compete thing)  - he told me straightfaced that his latest pleasure was to set his Satellite Navigation system up ready for the journey ahead - wait for the computer to tell him the best route and time and then do his damndest to beat it.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks - the thought of him sitting alone in his car trying to outwit his sat nav - beat it - and the feeling of victory that washed over him by proving a machine wrong. Tragic.

He was stunned that I did not do it.

He looked so happy at all the thoughts of his sat nav victories - I began to wonder if I have been missing out. Ummmm....