I read once that we are the “sum total of everybody we have ever met”. I have thought about this a lot and started to realise many years ago that I had been very lucky to meet some amazing people who have left me with a gift of their knowledge, values and experiences. Frank Blamey is someone who has made a big impact on me in my life. He is a wonderful guy who at 75 can still wrestle me to the ground during a debate. He is an angel on earth who is kind, caring, interesting and never makes a judgement. I met him during some voluntary work and we shared a passion for chocolate. Since then we have canvassed together, worked together, decorated and undertaken adventures that would scare Enid Blyton and Captain Scarlet. Frank supported me when I had lost faith in myself and never asked for anything in return. His gentle support and ability to 'be there with you' has never left me, come to think of it, neither has he.

It was a great privilege to be able to take him to Israel in Feb 2006 to meet some of the amazing people I have had the good fortune to work with on our Mehalev project. I was able to introduce Frank to Ysrael our taxi driver who always helps to keep my feet on the ground. Ysrael knows everything, and has an instant opinion on everyone one and everything. His mind is uncluttered by facts and he speaks as the man on the street. So just in case I get any daft ideas I bounce them off Ysrael and he is very quick to correct me and ground me back into what it feels like on the streets of Jerusalem.

Ysrael works really hard and has been a real tonic, his love of the Beatles, Arsenal and his family have provided us with many hours of banter. Ysrael takes me to meetings, some good and some not so good. We eat together and he knows the best Falafel shops but I would not recommend his choice in coffee. Ysrael took me once to the Ber Sheva Desert where I met some amazing people who have been long term unemployed. I asked each person to explain to me why they were unemployed. The stories amazed and humbled me:

A lady whose husband would not divorce her (although he lived with another woman) was now living penniless in a shop doorway with her three children. With only rice to feed themselves and no money for the medication she needs to treat the damage caused to her by the beatings she took from her husband she survives day by day. Thankful for the generosity shown to her by strangers. The saddest part she told me was watching her children waste away through lack of good food in front of her eyes. This Russian immigrant, a qualified accountant, still found time to try to help other less “fortunate than herself”. I was ashamed that the only thing I could do was to weep. This woman did not weep, for she had no tears left and could not afford my sentimentality. At this stage in our development (Summer 2005) we had still not fully decided if we would bid for the Mehalev programme, but this woman inspired me to want to Improve People's Lives in Israel. I told her that although she most probably felt that she had nothing left to give, in fact she had given me the passion and vision to want to take this project on and Improve Peoples Live's. She left me with so much; I can never thank her enough.

That day in the dessert I also met a man 69 years old; who had worked for 30 years as a lorry driver but following a bad accident which required his calf muscle to be removed he was unable to pursue his driving career. He explained that he would take work but had been unable to find any. He explained also that due to an administrative problem he had not been paid any benefits for 3 years. Homeless and alone he struggled but then he told me the most amazing thing……..

He explained that as a child he had been an orphan and as such had only ever been shown kindness by the British soldiers who were in Israel at the time of his childhood. He told me not only had they given him chocolate and taught him to read and write but most importantly they had taught him how to have self respect and to stand up straight. He looked me in the eye and told me he was still “standing up straight today” and had never had the chance to thank a British person in his adult years for the kindness shown to him as an orphan. He “asked me permission” to thank me on behalf of the goodness shown to him 60 years earlier. Again with nothing but tears in my eyes I was able to hug him and accept his thanks for those soldiers who took time out of their day to look a young boy in the eye and teach him all that he would need to get him through life. I left him, standing up straight and still thankful even though as a homeless 69 year man he has nothing, but perhaps he has more than many of us.

Each of us will have people who in our lives have made an impact to shape us and build our character. Often they never know how much they impact on our lives and that we carry their message for ever. We are rarely able to repay their investment in us and often they will not see the return which is earned by the way it shapes our lives. For many the impact of others can be a negative experience, sometimes we meet people who scare us and leave us less than before we met them, these scares disable for many years too and sometimes these scares never leave us. These people teach us all that is to be avoided in our lives.

I have been blessed by the people I have met, by their investment in me and so how to repay, how to square the debt…… well the only chance we are given to repay these debts is in the way we chose to live our lives and the way we take the opportunities given to us to invest ourselves in the people we meet along the way. I wish I was a better person and could claim a 100% success rate in this myself, I wish I could profess a 70% success rate, but I fear there have been many opportunities to support people which I have let slip by and now the chance is gone, closed shut and cold.

So I start another day tomorrow and I shall try again to look for the chance to give a little time, make eye contact with someone, thank someone, listen to someone and try to plant a seed in somebody else that may bear good fruit for them as they journey through this life.

It is my privilege to work in A4e and to have more chances than most to make these investments and as we stretch our service delivery across different countries and different sectors we find more people who can join A4e and share our vision and passion and more people needing that support to Improve Their Lives.

I hope to share more of the heroes and villains but I would be really interested to hear about the people you have met and the way in which their input to you has perhaps shaped your life. Did you choose to hear the gift offered and what did you do with it?

Thanks

Roy